What if...

The "What if.." question sometimes gave me lots of headache. That is why, I stopped doing this stupid question. Recently, almost for a year now, I kept asking my self this "What if" question. Also, almost every month this question accured. What if I had another child. Lots and more and more people kept telling me, that Leia needs a friend, well, a friend to grow up with. She has lots of friends, friends that she will grow up with. And recently, we have been really close to the "Sapta" family, and almost everyday, I (OK my driver) pick up Ray and Leia together, dropped Ray in his house, Leia got lunch in there, they played for a bit, before Leia went home. She has a great friend and family to grow up with. And another question raise up, until when? Because if she had sibling, it would be forever? but would it be? I mean, yes, she will spend a great years, with a sibling, but as she grew up and had her own life, her sibling would do the same thing. They will end up living in the different country, and spend the rest of her life again, ALONE! well, she can chit chat like my sister and I do, but just for the rest of her life.

I have not spent my life together with my little sister for almost 18 years, apart from each other. It doesn't drive us apart though, we look up of each other.

Anyway, I can not imagine having two children, except for the one that already here, I mean if I have to take of Kirana, i won't mind at all, but to get pregnant and have to do the entire baby process thing, I don't think I would do it.

So, what if...do I want to? do I ready? I guess not huh?